WTHELP

This just in at 1100h today:

Cautious: 2-metre cobra spotted

Dear Students,

Please be cautioned as we were informed that a 2-metre cobra was spotted at Federal Building bushes yesterday evening. The said area has been cordoned off.

We will inform the pest control to place sulphur powder on the floor at the back and side doors of Federal building.

Thank you.

Warm Regards,
UG Office

Bad English Aside..... Two. Freaking. Metres!!! "Warm Regards"!??

Ahh.... I don't wanna go to school anymore! But maybe I'm just using it as an excuse. There shouldn't be anything to worry about, right? Right? RIGHT? Scary shit ):

Boohoo,
xxx