MakeDo

Would really like to be posting more regularly now, but my laptop has died (again !!!). Pretty much requires an overhaul, which I am reluctant to give, since I have other priorities financially.

Currently typing this from an ancient desktop (Windows XP, whut) where I have no pictures at all. Needless to say, I'm not even going to attempt uploading or editing photos from my recent trip.. Just to prolong your misery, I mean, mystery (;


xx

Ctrl+R

It's a brand new year with nothing ahead and everything to look forward to. The future is uncertain but I'll find my way, however long it takes.

It seems I am obliged to feel that this year will be momentous, 12-12-12 and imminent apocalypse et al; yet I do not feel so compelled. When everyone is embarking on their chosen paths, I am still rooted.

Just returned from a faraway land that is so fantastical and inspiring. It is exotic, yet so familiar. It is incredible yet so real. It holds everything I ever dreamed of. It evoked feelings I never thought I would find. More and more I feel like I don't belong here. But moving permanently would be impossible, for I do not belong there either. And ironically, that is the very essence of being there--permanently moving. Have I fallen in love? Or is it mere infatuation? Regardless, it has given me hope--hope that I will find something, someone, somewhere to love.
This year, I will count my blessings. I will be patient and kind. I will have faith instead of doubt. I will remember all that I hold dear. In truth, the exercise has already begun. But conviction wears thin and fails on occasion; it is this strength of conviction I seek. What do you want?
Tomorrow, I will pick up where I left off--before I put all that I was on hold, went and got lost--and fervently hope that memories of the illuminated days will not fade into nothing but a dream.

Life is full of strange coincidences. Make of it what you will.


Love With All My Heart

Meme

Hello,

It's been exactly 2 months since I last updated this little space. Not much has changed since then.

I'm still on an internet hiatus--I find it takes up too much of my life. I've a feeling it may always be "too much", but I will try to reach a compromise. I'd like to say, "Oh, how I've missed you so", which would be a blatant lie; but that isn't to say that I haven't missed you at all. I have, just maybe not as much as you hoped. I'm still putting off The Supreme Reorganisation, largely because I have been secretly abroad. (In conversation, that would be "secretly a broad" and I'd be giggling to myself.)

My skin is messed up as ever; my sense of humour, warped as ever; my ass is lazy as ever; still using gadgets, beat up as ever; and my life, lonely as hell. Not lamenting any of the above, except my skin, which drastically deteriorated contrary to improving in a temperate climate. I'm itching to cut my hair, as always. And I'm evidently still super rambly.

I've been functioning, and I use the verb "function" loosely, on normal hours--meaning waking before 0800h and sleeping before 0200h--which is extremely weird for me. Have this almost irrepressible urge to revert to my detrimental nocturnal lifestyle.

In other news, I will be embarking on the next part of my journey--a 6-month full time course geared towards the bar exams. The timetable doesn't look that terrible, but I'm pretty sure there are a million impossible deadlines to meet which they haven't disclosed. (Why do I repeatedly consciously use "which" over "that"??? Irksome.)

Guess I should try to sleep. Not sure when I'll next be back. Who knows? Till then, take care.


Love
XOXO

Parting Shots

As much as I love you, I think I'm going to take a little break from this space. Hanging around the interwebs compulsively is really bad for my health... Meanwhile, I'll remain contactable via e-mail (:

A Premature Celebratory Post Of Sorts

Official video (which is shorter) here.

Freedom is mine for now. Time for some booze and everything'll be perfectly hazy ^^

This week will be a whirlwind.


XX

Never Fair

A feeling of helplessness washed over her as she sat quietly on the floor and wept. Suddenly, her fate had become cemented in reality and there was nothing she do about it. She would have to face the ignominy, the anger, the sadness of people around her, people who had loved her once. Indeed, it was most cruel. But she had brought it upon herself. And in her doom, she would be alone, as she had always been in her mind.

Playing by the rules, she always ends up losing.

Des Heures Dans Un Jour

Just a quick word to say I'm alive...

It's really beginning to hit home that everyone's going to be working adults in a matter of months, maybe even weeks. Can't quite get rid of that gnawing feeling in the hollow of my stomach.

I'm afraid, as I am of failure, but this time it's a very real fear of not accomplishing anything at all. It's already April and I still haven't finished any of the things I promised myself. I can't juggle applications with imminent examinations, let alone interviews and countless rejections. But grovel persist I must, and I can only pray that He will be merciful.

If I get through it all, shedding blood, sweat and tears, I can only envision falling to my knees and giving thanks. I'm so shaky, so close to the verge of collapse.. Grant me strength ): Not even going to spend another moment wishfully contemplating a grad trip I don't deserve.


Who Will Shoulder The Blame
But I?