Ctrl+R

It's a brand new year with nothing ahead and everything to look forward to. The future is uncertain but I'll find my way, however long it takes.

It seems I am obliged to feel that this year will be momentous, 12-12-12 and imminent apocalypse et al; yet I do not feel so compelled. When everyone is embarking on their chosen paths, I am still rooted.

Just returned from a faraway land that is so fantastical and inspiring. It is exotic, yet so familiar. It is incredible yet so real. It holds everything I ever dreamed of. It evoked feelings I never thought I would find. More and more I feel like I don't belong here. But moving permanently would be impossible, for I do not belong there either. And ironically, that is the very essence of being there--permanently moving. Have I fallen in love? Or is it mere infatuation? Regardless, it has given me hope--hope that I will find something, someone, somewhere to love.
This year, I will count my blessings. I will be patient and kind. I will have faith instead of doubt. I will remember all that I hold dear. In truth, the exercise has already begun. But conviction wears thin and fails on occasion; it is this strength of conviction I seek. What do you want?
Tomorrow, I will pick up where I left off--before I put all that I was on hold, went and got lost--and fervently hope that memories of the illuminated days will not fade into nothing but a dream.

Life is full of strange coincidences. Make of it what you will.


Love With All My Heart