Don't Stop Believing

The weather is so terribly rainy today, I can't get any work done. Maybe I really should have gone to school. Anyhow, it feels strange, yet not so strange, that school has started. The weekend feels surreal, as if today were still part of the holidays. In part, it is because I have spent my daylight sleeping and doing nothing, cooking noodles for sustenance only when I absolutely cannot take the gnawing hunger i.e. absolute procrastination and inertia. Listening to Glee--making do instead of 'thoning it all over again--and thinking about watching Grey's soon is rather an exciting prospect, instead of plodding through my mountain of readings.

Mmm. Things just aren't the same without people around. I feel very lonely, like I don't quite fit in, somehow. The 4 years consisting of JC and freshman and sophomore years have been years that fill me with regret. It has been a very trying time in my life. All this while I was coasting along on something that was not concrete. The repercussions are very real, but I know that I have been lucky because things could be much worse. Life is cruel and it's impossible to make up for lost time and moments past. Things are inextricably and irretrievably altered with every second that passes, even as I type this. We can never get back the days of our youth. But still, I must remember to count my blessings.

Yet, we must stay strong and persevere, for it is only normal to err. I believe in His plans, more so now than ever, and I pray that good things will come to those who wait (i.e. me), those who so patiently abide by His word.

Many people have asked me if I am Christian, and the answer is honestly that it depends on how loosely you define "Christian". Have I accepted Christ? Maybe. Do I believe in God? Maybe. I have personalized faith, the closest terms in which I can describe it is: a combination of Bala'i faith and theosophy. But even that is still not an accurate depiction of my beliefs.

I can spare myself the pain of watching you run around with others by letting you go ya? Or cannot I do so? Hehehe. TYL and TTH are going to be the death of me this semester. I must work harder to compensate.

This video is super hypnotic. I loooove Quinn Fabray/Dianna Agron. She's so pretty!!!!

xo