Don't Take My Sunshine Away

I'm tearing randomly in school, everytime departure rises to the surface of my mind. Trying to suppress it in the depths of my subconscious doesn't help alleviate the pain. I feel aggrieved that there has been no time for me, despite time for everyone and everything else. I feel cheated that it is unrequited despite it quite clearly being represented otherwise. I knew I was being stupid but I just wanted to believe. I chose this for myself, and I cannot say that I regret it. But I don't know what I want to do. Do I seek compensation? Do I seek love out of compassion and/or obligation? I know not what I should do, and I hate that you always know what you must do, even if you don't know what you want.

I don't know how I'm going to cope tomorrow, to not cry, to not let the cat out of the bag. It might be best if I don't go, but then it would also be odd if I did not. I know not what to do. Nothing you tell me will help. Nothing will do except the most extreme, which you will not agree to.