'Cause There's Beauty In The Breakdown

Know what my problem is? It's letting go. Everything. Everyone. I just can't.

More ramblings.. (Please bear with me, it's been a really difficult time and, well, this is supposed to be an outlet, after all... Let's sidetrack a little and go through today: car in the workshop for repair = paralysed; arriving early for rehearsal on an empty stomach; discovering that there are few dancers even at the appointed full dress rehearsal time, past practice slot; breaking down quietly in my corner because of grief from someone (horrible); giving up my packet lunch to aforementioned irresponsible dancer who did not reply re: lunch (pre-empted); having my replacement lunch order forgotten (unexpected), while people who went out for lunch have bubble tea (my suggestion); finding out that the lunch coordinator under-ordered for my dancers (mildly agitated); watch a spectacular failure of an item (frustrateddd); have a whole bunch of people dismissed early; work depressingly on a prop coffin; overhear feedback that blocking is screwed up (which I have been repeating since last week) and also that a dancer thinks that the item is really bad but instead goes on to say that another item needs practice (wth?), and then goes out for a dinner date... and now my ranting has morphed the bracket into a full-blown paragraph. Oopsie. Strangely, I didn't feel bad about being alienated today. Guess I accepted it because I had a very black face all day. Was quite happy to be left alone, actually.)