Guess I'm Stupid

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Screwed up my French test--AGAIN--so I'm feeling rather depressed. Don't even think I can get an A-. Really annoyed with myself. I just can't perform during exams because I somehow can't relax. Sucks. And I know that I know all the right answers but it just doesn't flow when I need it to. Which, some might say, means that I don't know all the right answers, or that I didn't study enough. But it truly is a performance thing. UGHHH. And of course, I'm eternally fatally careless. Really have to do something about itttt ): there are no more excuses when you reach this stage in life. Especially not where I'm at. Life is so unforgiving. I can explain everything away, but nobody will be willing to listen and accept or even give me a chance to.
Feeling rather emo depressed lately, because of so many things (I feel) I need. But now is truly not the right time, though I can't help myself )': if only I had someone to lean on, but that someone doesn't even care about me
I went to sleep early because I couldn't stop thinking about all my mistakes in my test, together with all other depressing thoughts swirling about in my crowded head, hoping that they'd go away.. But they didn't. And it's too freaking hot to sleep--I'm so sticky and have a headache--as if feeling weepy/mopey weren't bad enough. Definitely not looking forward to getting back my paper, in the middle of my exams, no less. Japanese (non-school) exam next week, then Family in less than a week (the first day of the entire exam period i.e. on a Saturday!). Really irritated. Sigh.

Dinner didn't help anything either. I had ribs at Grill-Out at Sunset Way, which has sucked every single time I've been there. The 'rents have a horrible memory--they also think it sucks whenever they eat there--and I'm always too lazy to protest because it means I've to come up with an alternative. Food's lousy and expensive, and service is non-existent. A very hungry, grumpy me waited 30 minutes for my food to arrive. I had a good mind to walk out. Seriously. Then the sauce was lousy and the meat was mostly tough. The soup that came much earlier tasted like Campbell's, and the unspectacular bread roll was tiny but served with a huge knob of butter. The bun's texture reminded me of airplane buns--the crust was rather skin-like and semi-crisp? Yup. Anyway, I had a really black face throughout the meal. In the end, they hardly even apologised for the long wait. When mother finally managed to call the inattentive stuff for the bill, they brought us the menu to order desserts instead, which was (possibly intentionally) misleading, because it wasn't part of the "set". In other words, additional charges!!! I am sooo wary these days -.-

Now, I don't know whether to go back to sleep or not. Because I didn't do anything the whole day. Am in a rather shabby state at the moment. On a possibly brighter side, the cheap book I was hunting down has been found. Will collect it on Saturday.

I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.

Yannick Appriou, if you ever see this, I would like to get to know you better... Though, you're one heck of a procrastinator and apparently gay. But then again, you're French. So what's new, right?
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